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AfterHours:Fun:Engineering
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About the "Engineering jokes" page
Here is what people say about engineers. It might be so, we cannot say, probably because of our engineering bias. We apologize for not poking enough fun at these guys, this page is still under construction. Please stay tuned.
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Software Engineering fun
- Evolution of a programmer [1]
- How to write unmaintainable code [2]
- Ned Martin's problem solving flowchart [3]
- What if Microsoft wrote NMAP [4]
- Software Engineering Humor [5]
- SOA facts of life [6]
- Programming today is a race between software engineers stirring to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning.
- Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems
- No matter how fast your computer system runs, you will eventually come to think of it as slow.
- Making fun of programmers [7]
- Parkinson’s Law: Work expands to fill (and often exceed) the time allowed
- Murphy’s Law : Whatever can go wrong, will
- Design and programming are human activities; forget that and all is lost (Bjarne Stroustrup, 1991)
- In God we trust, all others bring data (Dr W. Edwards Deming)
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Intellectual Property fun
- IP Funny -- Intellectual Property Humor
- Funny Patent Prosecution Flowchart
- Bizarre "Volkswagen beetle Branding-energy amplifier" patent
- The nightmarish "E-Z Catch Harvester" industrial chicken catcher - US patent 6612918.
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Engineering methodology
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Quiz to make answer by a would-mary software engineer
- 1) What quality do you value most in your partner?
- a) A sense of humor
- b) Emotional maturity.
- c) High bandwidth.
- 2) When you get home at the end of the day, you like to:
- a) Turn on the Silicon Valley Business report, and eat dinner.
- b) Hook up to your ISP, and check out the hit count on your web page.
- c) Recharge your cell phone, laptop, and wireless modem, change batteries on your pager, and resynchronize your Palm Pilot and home computer.
- 3) Your ideal partner is:
- a) Interesting and attractive.
- b) Emotionally mature and understanding.
- c) Extensible and polymorphic.
- 4) In spiritually difficult times, you often turn to:
- a) Dilbert
- b) Kernighan and Ritchie
- c) comp.lang.c++
- 5) If go over to your partner's place and think it's a mess, you would:
- a) Complain to him/her, and tell them to tidy up.
- b) Call a maid service.
- c) Make clean
- 6) What kind of car would you like to buy next, and why?
- a) A BMW, because people will see that I am rich and successful.
- b) A Jeep, because it's youthful, rugged, and won't break down.
- c) A Honda because the engine control computer can be hacked for more horsepower.
- 7) Name the 4 essential food groups:
- a) Fruit, vegetables, meat, dairy.
- b) Coffee, chocolate, takeout, ice cream.
- c) rec.food.cooking, rec.food.veg, ba.food, alt.food.chocolate
- 8) You like to travel with your partner because:
- a) You share new experiences together.
- b) You learn about each other in different situations.
- c) You get more use out of your wireless modem.
- 9) You think a relationship is ready for a permanent commitment because:
- a) You've successfully struggled through several years of good and bad times.
- b) You're already living together, so you might as well tie the knot.
- c) You finally got your local network configured just right.
- 10) If you and your partner got married, you would want to:
- a) Keep your last name.
- b) Change your last name.
- c) Combine your names with a hyphen.
- d) Combine your names with an underscore.
- 11) You and your partner think it's time to have children when:
- a) Your stock options are vested.
- b) You've agreed on the requirements and design.
- c) You've come up with a good naming convention.
- d) You really understand the use of multiple inheritance.